Darkseid's Couch
A Comic Book Podcast That's Sometimes About Comic Books

S12:E9 - Psychoblast No. 4 (1987)

Brain Capers

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée journey to the center of their minds with 1988's Psychoblast no. 4! Brian Burke has everything going for him: A sweet janitor gig, tight glutes, and a head full of silver, flowing hair so glorious you'd swear he scalped Kurt Russell. The only problem? There's an amoral supernatural entity locked in his psyche that could be dictating his entire perception of reality! What if his ass isn't actually that firm?! Brian will go to any lengths to get answers, even if it means taking an 18-hour nap while government agents talk about how awesome he is. But when he's asked to befriend a ginger, can even the power of the mysterious Psychoblast keep Brian from getting totally grossed out? Find out on this week's episode of Derailed Hyperliberal Comic Book Podcast!

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S12:E8 - The Three Stooges No. 1 (1953)

The Lighter Side of Head Trauma!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée learn about friendship and eye-gouging with 1953's The Three Stooges no. 1! It's a collection of tales featuring everyone's favorite trio of careless knuckleheads who should've died a thousand times by now, Moe, Larry, and Shemp! The 1950s were a decade of economic prosperity, and Americans were eager to point and laugh at those who were struggling to generate a livable income. The Stooges were happy to oblige, trying everything from running a diner into the ground to blowing up the fireworks factory they just bought, all while the government does nothing to help these three adults with severe cognitive disabilities. But don't worry, because they're protected by the power of their love for one another. And probably a whole lot of black market painkillers. So shove a fork in a power outlet, fall out of a window, have a cinder block dropped on your head, whatever. Nothing can harm you as long as you've got your two best chums with you. It's the Darkseid's Couch Code!

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S12:E7 - The New Wave No. 11 (1986)

The Concrete Garden

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée jam a childhood's worth of after-school specials into 26 pages when they read The New Wave no. 11! In 1986, Eclipse Comics seemed to be making books solely to broadcast their disregard for the Comics Code Authority. Case in point: When the New Wave decides to take a day off from whatever it is they normally do to visit the circus, all of the show's dirty secrets will be exposed! From coke-snorting clowns to coke-snorting acrobats to at least one audience member who simply loves crack, the reputation of this once-proud tradition of abusing animals for human amusement may be tarnished forever! It's a dark and uncomfortable tale that will leave you with an important life lesson: The circus sucks. Seriously, the food's awful, the souvenirs are overpriced, you're just gonna leave disappointed.

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S12:E6 - Miss America No. 1 (1944)

Only Radical Leftist Ranting Can Save Us Now!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée step in a big pile of Miss America no. 1 and spend an hour trying to wipe it off on the doormat! Travel back to 1944 and witness (or don't) the biggest comic book gimmick of them all: Miss America's inaugural issue was the first book in the industry to actively force anyone with a perfunctory sense of empathy to put it down and go find something else to do with their lives! Watch (or don't) as Miss America uses her powers of blind patriotism and ironic hypocrisy to embolden the very bigotry she's claiming to fight against! It's a book so depressing, so immoral, so offensive to basic human decency that it'll make even the most jaded listener ask, "Goddamn, when's the next Batman episode?" Soon, we promise!

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S12:E5 - Sun Runners No. 1 (1984)

Smokin' Blunts in the Space Hooptie

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée learn there's no natural resource not worth profiting off of when they read 1984's Sun Runners no. 1! In some non-specified future, Sun Runners travel the galaxy capturing solar energy to sell to needy planets. Sometimes they even fix broken stars, although all that usually involves is unplugging them and then plugging them back in again. The team's made up of a hyper-violent elephant man, a dolphin lady who wants to go back to the sea but can't resist the allure of space capitalism, a sex-starved robot, and a human who instantly incinerates himself. And he's the leader! You couldn't have less confidence in your fuel providers if the Three Stooges worked for BP.

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S12:E4 - Marvel Swimsuit Special No. 2 (1993)

Big Fun on Monster Island

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée celebrate the start of a perfectly normal summer with 1992's Marvel Swimsuit Special! Whether you're into cheesecake, beefcake, or just any type of bulge, there's something for everyone when Pip the troll transports all of Marvel's biggest stars to Monster Island for a beach party! Of course, he had to use the Infinity Stones to force them to wear swimsuits and pose for photos, but in fairness most of these people get brainwashed every few days as it is. At least this time they might get some weenies out of it.

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S12:E3 - The Mighty Crusaders Vol. 2, No. 9 (1984)

Old Legends Never Die

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée vote to defund superheroes after reading the Mighty Crusaders no. 9! Some human flagpole who calls himself the Shield has straight-up murdered a jewel thief but sees no issue with this because he's from the '40s, when that kind of thing was totally acceptable. Unfortunately, it's now the go-go '80s, and vigilantism has been criminalized. Hey pal, you wanna use excessive force with absolutely no consequences, you join the police force like an honest citizen! Luckily, the Shield has friends in high places who will stop at nothing to keep him from being held responsible for his actions. Plus, meet the Brain Emperor, a villain so proud of his brain that he makes sure it's visible at all times, which is definitely not sanitary.

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S12:E2 - Mantech Robot Warriors No. 1 (1984)

Less Than Meets the Eye!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée man their posts at the All-New Mantech Battle Board Playset for the inaugural issue of 80s action figure tie-in comic Mantech Robot Warriors! Proving that there's no concept too thin for a cheap promotional cash-grab, the Mantechs are three chill dudes whose dying carcasses have been horribly mutilated to fit them into interchangeable robot bodies! And they'll need those new bodies as they battle the evil Terrortechs in an awesome struggle for... who picks the radio station, maybe? It's never made clear. Their entire society seems to consist of only these eight characters fighting one another over no stated goal. Also, the fact that they can all freely swap limbs suggests that maybe they're kinda into this. Get a room already, Techbois!

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S12:E1 - The Son of Satan No. 1 (1975)

The Homecoming!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée deal with their daddy issues while reading 1975's The Son of Satan no. 1! Daimon Hellstrom has recently found out he's the literal son of the devil, which everyone else had already assumed based on his name. Now Daimon will return to his mother's New England home to really "find himself," which means taking a spooky staircase down to Hell and telling his dad that he's his own man now and won't be following in his father's footsteps anymore! Except for, you know... using Hell-based powers, and having a pentagram chest symbol, and brandishing a pitchfork, and kinda his whole persona. If he really wants to be a good guy he should probably hire a management team, because he's digging a PR hole the superhero community is not going to respond well to. Even the Punisher would consider this bad optics.

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S11:E10 - Batman No. 377 (1984)

The Slayer of Night

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée fight over custody of 1984's Batman no. 377! Bruce Wayne has finally found a suitable new Robin in Jason Todd, aka Diet Dick Grayson. Jason is everything Batman looks for in a sidekick: He's tough, smart, and his parents are dead. It should be a match made in vigilante heaven, but there's one problem: Brooding goth supervillain Nocturna also wants adoption rights, and the legal system in Gotham is corrupt enough to entertain this bit of ludicrous comic book nonsense. Will Jason Todd get to risk his life hunting deranged killers and amassing psychological trauma that will never heal, or will he just end up getting super into Bauhaus on vinyl? Maybe living on the street isn't such a terrible option after all.

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